Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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