How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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