I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
