you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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