Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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