When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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