Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize