nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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