drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
