garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so explain again why im purple
no
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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