we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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