Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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