I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
