I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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