I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
