What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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