dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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