i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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