This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
