Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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