I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
