Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
