so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize