We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
