We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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