conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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