just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
