their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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