If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
