No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
