Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
