Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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