what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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