i was rollin on her like bob the builder
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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