the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
