you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You did what with his pubic hair?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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