I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
