Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize