If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
