what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
