can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize