He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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