OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
