we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
