I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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