I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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