As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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