If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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