Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
