he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I could make wine with my vomit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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