i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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