need another drink. this is the easiest way
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
