and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
