Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it hurts more in the daytime
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
