is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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