I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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