I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
