it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
