Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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