I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
