It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
