I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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