idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
3 2 1 whiskey
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
