First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
